Satu lagi ujian daripada Allah swt. Mungkin dah sampai masa aku diberi ujian ini. Tak sangka betul. Such a wonderful child. Satu-satunya anak yang a bit different than the others. Kandungan 5 bulan, doctor dah suggest dia akan dilahirkan cacat. Tapi kecacatannya tak pasti. Lahirnya cukup natural, tidak dipaksa keluar. I even heard my own water bag burst. Lahirnya satu hari lewat daripada tarikh. Senang sangat. Kecil-kecilpun senang nak jaga. Tak banyak ragam. I noticed matanya juling. Mula-mula tak rasa ganjil pun. Our family doctor suggests that I should take him to see an eye specialist, kemungkinan dia ada lazy eye. It was worst than I thought. But he was lucky, kalau umur dah tujuh tahun dah lewat sikit untuk dirawat. Dia pakai glasses to rectify anak mata yang juling. Alhamdulillah, his eyes are almost normal now. And the most wonderful thing, power cermin matanya dah almost stable dan tak increase lagi. Masa all this happen, umurnya 5 tahun. Masa dia dah boleh melihat alphabet, I sent him for tuition in quick reading. Dalam masa satu bulan, he was already reading the newspaper. So, he is a very intelligent guy.
Karektornya, sangat independent. Seperti kanak-kanak lain suka atau hantu main games. Pantang ada peluang, dia lebih suka bersendirian. Umur 10 tahun, dia mula menunjukkan kelakuan yang ganjil. Tawaf keliling meja dan suka cakap sendiri. I ingat normal pada mulanya. Kadang-kadang kanak-kanak suka berimaginasi ketika bermain. So I biarkan saja. Masa darjah enam, sekolahnya mengadakan projek kepung dimana semua pelajar calon UPSR akan dipaksa tinggal diasrama dan menghadiri tuisyen setiap malam. Resultnya, dia dapat 4A1B. B untuk BM Kefahaman. Pelik betul. So I guest sekolah asrama is good for him. Tapi Allah itu maha mengetahui. Dia tak dapat kemana-mana sekolah asramapun. I never gave up, dia dapat juga masuk sekolah harian berasrama dengan aliran khas. That was a great mistake. Penyakit tawafnya makin menjadi-jadi. Resultnya merundum. I always visited him. Dia akan bercakap tak henti-henti and can never let me go bila tiba masa balik. Sedih betul, Allah sahaja yang tahu. One day, unexpectedly I took him home. He was crying so happily in the car. I think he needed me a lot to talk to. We took a long walk and I let him talk all his heart out. He told me a long weird story from another planet. The voices he heard. I felt something was not right. So I confided with a doctor and she suggested that I refer my son to a psychiatrist.
So, it was schizophrenia. Something inherited. Both my side and my husband’s have relatives having this disease. First, the acceptance of it. The person, the families. That is most important. The support that my son need. The understanding of the disease, the stigma around it. All these, need to be faced and addressed. He has a lot of conflicts with his teachers and peer groups. Always misunderstanding them or vice versa. His social skills are very poor. That’s the main problem. Schizophrenia involves the over production of a certain chemical in the brain. Over a long period of time, this damages certain brain cells and obviously certain brain function. This causes a person not being able to think clearly. Imagination grows wild plus hearing the voices.
Actually a schizophrenic enjoys the wild imagination and the voice that goes with it. On taking Resperdal the voices are now gone and so does the wild imagination. He stops walking around or talking to himself. Now I am trying very hard to help him understand others. Now and then, I have to caution him of what is right or wrong when dealing with his friends and teachers in school. But how long is this going to last? I can’t be with him forever. I’ll be gone someday. One thing positive is that this lovely son of mine knows what’s going on. The side effects of taking Resperdal are weight gain and sleepiness. So he exercises quite often playing footsal in the afternoon. He controls his food intake and has recently taken Herbalife drinks. He is more well behaved and less stressed out. I think quality food intake does help especially the effect of food on healthy emotions.
To all Schizophrenics out there, don’t feel hopeless. It’s a life time disease you can’t run away from. Just keep in control of your body and mind. Allah will always be there with you. Every one has an ujian now and then. If you redha with what Allah gives you, He’ll always be there to guide you. Just usaha to do something NOW. See a psychiatrist to evaluate how far the disease has done the damage to your brain functions, get the right medication prescription and do the best for your body.
My son’s next challenge is Vertiligo - a frightening skin disease. It just developed a few months ago. It’s my next challenge too. I will definitely write about it in the near future.
Lots of love,
The Never Ending Mum
Check out my luverly husband's great blog on wellness and weight loss by clicking here. It has a massive amount of great tips and advice!